I feel pretty accomplished, yet also lazy and full of ennui. Why? Well, accomplished because I made it up and back to my mom's house in Crestline without dying (though I did have to use my phone-a-friend lifeline on the way back... My mom wrote that I should take the 261 instead of the 241 and it screwed me up. D:)

On the other hand, I went to my manager Vanessa's farewell party tonight, and I felt very singular and separated from them all, what with being unable to drink, and without strong connections to any of the people there. I also just was down because it's really hard to find friends here (in Orange County) and now (being an in-between teenager), because I want stylish, fun, intelligent friends and there don't seem to be any. Also, my standards are higher than Mount Everest.

I am partially down because I would like nothing more than to befriend the Horrors - all I've done the past few days is watch all the Youtube videos on them, discovering how fun and cute and nice they are. Okay, I sound really pathetic. It's one of those days. I have no idea why I even get this way, I mean, I took my medication... I need more social interaction. I wish I had money to live in Berkeley. Sigh.

There are some days when all I really want to say to my friends is "I'm sorry for existing." Yeah, it's one of those posts. It's also one of those days.

Exhibit A: This morning I had a headache. It worsened until I ate food, which managed to banish it. I'm assuming it's a caffeine overload headache. It's sort of depressing that as I say this I'm thinking of Archie. *is shot*

Exhibit B: Tuesdays are not generally my favorite day, mostly because I have to go to Tae Kwon Do. Today was no exception, and all I wanted to do as I finished my econ Powerpoint was sleep. Apparently it left when I was DA-gallery-hopping and then my dad picked me up and it came back. So I went. Tae Kwon Do is never bad, I just don't like the exercise anticipation, but as soon as I'm doing it, I enjoy it. Until, of course, after class today. Which gives me

Exhibit C: My Tae Kwon Do instructor is Ashley Davis. She's a very good, very graceful 2nd dan, and I appreciate her teachings despite her occasionally poor grammar. ^^; I respect her. She's cool. Usually we get along. But today she tells me to stay after class, and when I do she proceeds to tell me to stop slandering her, especially to students, and that if I do this again she's going to have Master Hong, our studio leader, do something about it. (Master Hong is also very cool, and an excellent teacher, and I respect him fully and would never do anything to dishonor him.) I tell her that I certainly did not nor did I ever disrespect her, and that the only things I say during the course of a class are things that are directed towards myself, and never ever to anyone else. She says she heard me slandering her tonight, and other times, and she's heard it from students. I vehemently protest, but I feel like there's nothing I can do to make her believe me, and I'm indignant that she would accuse me of such things. I hate people who talk badly about others behind their backs, I find it disgusting, and am pretty angry about the whole thing. Honestly, I feel that I've lost much of the respect I had for her--whether that's fair or not--and now there's another reason to dread Tae Kwon Do. 

Anyway. I've officially joined the emo posters of LJ. How sad.